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My company has a unicorn threat.
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Left Boob Oscillator
Left Boob Oscillator
1371 posts

My company has a unicorn threat.

I got this email:

This is just a reminder that waves of funny unicorns are sent out all the time attempting to catch unsuspecting corporate workers off guard. These unicorns are very crafty and intended to appear serious, sometimes inviting you to follow them to view someone’s spread sheet, or come along to view some sort of Powerpoint presentation.

Typically, the unicorns’ magic has hidden code that can launch several unwanted actions, including the launch of sponatneous happiness. The reality is that you could be welcoming a happy clown into your cubicle who will in turn propagate and send cheerful thoughts to other people in your office.

Our company's personal freedom prevention team utilizes several methods to protect the integrity of our drones, blocking 97% of 2.3 million thoughts per day due to LAUGHTER or potential clown cheer, but there is still that small % that does get through the system.

This email should serve as a valuable reminder: unless you are expecting a knock on your door from unicorns, please do not cavort or dance with any unicorns with whom you are not familiar, or whom you were not expecting. Also, be mindful of unicorns that attempt to convince you to knock on the doors of other people in return for a free evaluation of your productivity in the workplace. While it may be tempting to do so, this greatly affects the overall integrity of our drones.

Sep 11, 2009, 20:22